The swells in the current that runs through my ears make my heart beat faster than normal. It excites me more than anything I’ve heard in my life before. The crescendos crashing into my soul like the rise and fall of my stomach in an elevator. Butterflies. Purple and blue and green.
Two of the sweetest voices I’ve ever heard melting into one perfect harmony, like the lap of water on the shore. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this. This amazing rush, this excitement. The sound of pure musical passion on one EP. Three songs is not enough. Three minutes is not enough, three songs is not enough, three days still. My fingers ache to play such beauty, my voice cries out to sing these notes, but I hesitate. No voice could be as sweet as these three. The music flows so perfectly and seamlessly and suddenly I want muffins. Coffee shop comfort and cowboy boots. Floral dresses spinning madly in circles, silhouettes and dynamic melodies.
I wish I could write like this. I wish I could pick up my guitar and just play the most amazing music. The music my heart belts out every moment of every day. It’s the song that lives in my soul, writhes in my belly and keeps me tossing and turning in perfect rhythm with your bass lines. This is the soundtrack to my life, to my accomplishments, to my failures. My love song, my breakup song, my song in the key of G. These are the songs I hear on the streets where I live, the streets where I grew up and the streets I haven’t walked yet. Driving songs, driving me forward into the unknown. And always with you singing with me.
It’s always been this way. Always. I heard the music in my mother’s womb, I kicked out rhythms to find a way to speak to the world. Tell them the stories of my existence. Twenty-one short years later, the stories still long to be told, memories I haven’t had yet call out in my mind.
The currents swell in my ears. My heart beats faster and I’m excited because this music in my ears, the sweetest voices, the crescendos, is what I’ve been looking for. It’s the beginning of something great, something that will pull me through.
And yet, it is not mine.
